Saturday, we had a big birthday bash for my Mom's 84th birthday. Lots of preparations. We have a huge family. Sixty people showed up throughout the day, and most were there all at the same time. We set up the volleyball net. I picked a good spot to take some great individual and family photos for everyone. My sister and I put together a book real quick for my mom, for everyone to sign in and then I would later stick the photo in.
Then there it was...the overwhelming grief. That huge knot in my stomach, the fluttering heart, all too familiar feeling that comes out of seemingly nowhere. Family events, family photos, someone is missing. I don't want to go anymore. I know its awful to feel this way but it is the way I feel. Everybody there with their kids and grandkids, complete family photos. I actually was hoping I would get "whats going around" and have an excuse to stay home. Sometimes during these days you really just fake your way through and smile and pretend everything is just fine. It's kind of funny that even when you're faking it God comes through for you and actually turns your tears into real smiles, and if your not careful you might even laugh and have fun. Thank you Lord for putting enough in me to make this day special for my Mom.
I guess that is one of the hard things about grieving. It's private, but yet it seems like you really are not allowed to have that private time, because somebody else needs or wants a part of you. However, that could very well be a safety net that keeps you from just fading away.
Hang in there parents, we will make it through this "Journey of Grief".
1 comment:
Tell Ms. Slatton Happy Birthday for me please. She is such a precious lady. I know she is glad you're back home from Portugal safe and sound. You're her baby...she didn't like that!
Post a Comment