I know that lately I have written things that seemed to be "normal", just everyday life for most folks, however, I feel the need to re-visit the original reason for this blog...GRIEF.
Yesterday I took a really big step toward "normality". Alabama Football! This time of year is really hard for me. This November will be three years since the death of my son. Yesterday for the first time I felt like it was okay to get back into the game. Since the day my son was born we watched Alabama Football together. There were only a few games that we didn't watch together. Those were the ones after he was married, but we still spoke to each other by phone and some point during the games. He was so funny, such a big, faithful, Alabama fan. He told Rhonda, "there are two things our kids don't get a choice in...going to church and being an Alabama fan. He was serious.
We were going in to the grocery store to get some food for the game. Kacey, Matt and JohnPhilip were coming over to watch the game. 90% of the customers had on their "Alabama" game day shirts. I felt myself getting in the spirit of it all, then there it was...No, not without Philip. As quickly as that thought came I just had this overwhelming feeling of Philip saying, "Okay Mom, it's time to get back in to the game...cheer for me." I know that sounds silly, but it was very special to me. Philip will always be in my heart, a part of my spirit, a part of who I am.
We had a great time watching the game with our daughter and her family. It wasn't as fun in the same kind of way as with Philip because Kacey is a Georgia fan. However, it was fun in the fact that we kicked their tails! Kacey was very quiet during the first half, and finally spoke to us the second half when her team got on the board.
So, no, nothing will never be the same, but in life what ever really is? I will always cherish my football memories with my son, but I will also cherish the new ones with the rest of my family; even if they are confused about which team to cheer for.
To the other parents who are grieving. You cherish those memories, share them, but don't forget to make new ones.