Monday, February 25, 2008

A Mom's Journey through Grief - (The Phone Call)

It was "Iron Bowl Saturday", for those who don't know or are not from the South, that is the Alabama/Auburn football game. The biggest rivalry in college Football in the South.

My Son Philip had been going through a lot of stuff. He was really struggling with the toughest of life issues and we had made a date for that Saturday. He and his sister Kacey would bring the twins Madison and Malachi (15 months old) over and we would watch the game and not think or talk about anything but good times.

I had everything for the "wings" today was going to determine once and for all who made the best wings..me or Philip. We all knew who would win, after all, did he forget who taught him? I talked to Kacey the night before making sure everything was still on . Philip yelled out in the background that he wanted me to make him some sausage balls as well. So I did.

I was really excited about the day with my kids. I wanted everything to be PERFECT! I was determined I wasn't going to nag about anything. I was just gonna be cool! Really, I was.

It was getting close to time for them to arrive and I was dying to call, but Dad says, "leave em alone, they'll be hear soon." He knew I was worried about Philip and today was so important for me, but you know how it is the husband is the practical one...don't call em, they'll be here.
"Little did he know I had already sneaked one call, but I didn't get an answer."

A few minutes later the phone rang...Philip's number! "Hello, Son,...Where.....? My greeting was cut short by the frantic sound of my daughter's voice. "Philip! It's Philip, I don't know whether he's dead or alive..." I was sure someone had kicked me in my stomach, nausea, dizziness, sounds from a tunnel I was hearing , but I couldn't speak. Finally finding my voice, "Kacey, what happened? What do you mean?. Is there a gun a knife what is it? "I don't know, the paramedics are here, they're still working on him.

Taking control, needing to calm my daughter, I begin to be a Mom, give instructions. "Kacey you stay put just find out what hospital and we will come there for you and then go to the hospital. We will be right there."

I ran from the house finding Jimmy outside, by then I was crying and shaking. "It's Philip something terrible has happened we have to get to his house. " We jumped into our car and I filled him in on the rest of what I knew.

I had managed to reach Kacey again, I asked her what happened and she said "pills". Pills? Drugs? What? The phone died, no more answers, no more signal. The fifteen minute drive seemed to last forever. I remember when I got signal again I called my pastor and told them what I thought. I thought that my son was on the way to the hospital for an overdose.

We came to the 4-way stop by the Fire Department and the F.D. was collecting money. It seemed as though they would never let us through.

Almost to Philip's house we passed an ambulance...no lights...not speeding...nothing. I began to shake horribly looking at my husband with desperation. He said "everything is gonna be alright, that doesn't mean anything. I was praying "God please don't take my Son, God, Please don't take my Son!.

We arrived at the house there were several cars, police, ambulance, and it seemed like a lot of people. I really don't remember.

We pulled down to the basement where Philip parked. There was yellow- crime scene tape - and a police officer outside the door. We hurried out of the car and up to the officer, I was going to get to see him before they left for the hospital. The cop put up his hand to stop us. "We're his parents."

You can't go in, he told us. I still don't know why this question, but I asked, "Is my son alive?"
The officer looked at me..."No Maam, he's not."

A loud blood curdling scream NOOOOOOOOOO...then I was on the ground, my husband trying to help me up. Who was this awful man telling me this, what is happening? My husband set me down in Philip's car and I remember the officer asking him if he wanted them to get me something. I knew what he meant. I told him not to ever say that to me. I remember I was so angry at that man, looking back I think he was probably a very nice man.

My husband walked back to the door, the officer tried to block him but my husband moved him out of the way and he went to our son. Now it would all be okay, he would find out the truth, and he would come tell me that we were headed to the hospital. I waited a few minutes, he came back out and he just grabbed me and began to weep. This was all wrong. In my heart I knew it would never be right again.

2 comments:

Danielle Pelkey said...

I remember it like it was yesterday. I really can't imagine being in your shoes. I don't want to. You are so strong for doing this. I'm so very proud of you! I love you and I don't know what else to say. I miss him so very much. He was like sunshine... all the time! I still think of him all the time. I still have his number in my roladex at work and all of his info from where he wrote sports for us... I laugh and cry every time I see them. The world lost out on a lot of fun times when Philip died. I love him.
I love you!
-Danielle Pelkey

shana said...

wow i just found your blog site off doris' profile...i never knew how everything happened really...but after reading this i am covered in tears..aunt lora i have no idea how you made it through that time..but i do know God is definately seeing you through...i know losing a parent is different than losing a child but i wish i could talk about my dad and the good memories the way you do philip..i remember the last time i seen him after soo long he was at tylers football game with jr..i was like wow! hes grown up and hes sooo handsome.. it wasnt long after that he passed away...i always thought of him and kacey as my own cousins and you as my aunt..i pray for yall and am very glad God has blessed you with the grandkids to help you through!!

love shana

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About Me

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Empire, Alabama, United States
I am happily married to Jimmy McGee, he is my best friend and the love of my life. I have two children. My son Philip who went on to be with the Lord in November 2005, at the age of (almost) 21 and left behind my precious daughter-in-law Rhonda and his twin babies Madison and Malachi who are so very precious to me. My beautiful daughter Kacey who will be 21 on April 26th. Kacey is happily married to Matt Henry and they are expecting their first child John-Philip at the end of May. These are the people most dear to me and make my world the wonderful place that it is! JUST ADDED! New grandson was born on May 7th John-Philip Ryne Henry!

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